A Collection Of Jealousy
by iheartamianplusnatan
Summary: Hey hey! This is an entry for Phantomhive Cahill (aka: Paris Jane)'s Jealous Much contest! I honestly had no idea what to do, so I just put together a bunch of mini stories. PLEASE READ! You can also take a quiz to find out if you are a Jake, Ian, or Evan! Tell me what's you got! :) - iheartamianplusnatann (Zoë)


**Here is my entry for Paris Jane's Jealous Much contest! This is just a Collection of jealousy, a bunch of mini-stories that amian's will appreciate. It also kinda shows the god side of Evan...a little bit. Hope you like it! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review!**

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Jealous Much Fanfic contest Entry

A Collection of JEALOUSY:

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Adorkable-not-dorky:

Evan was depressed.

Besides the fact that Vespers were attacking him, he was working 24/7 at the Attleboro station which meant a) missing school, and b)missing work, normally his two top priorities, Evan thought that his girlfriend was breaking up with him.

At first when these unwelcome thought started penetrating the trusting and lovable-in-a-sheepdog-way mind of Evan Tolliver, he pushed them away angrily. Why was he doubting his amazing girlfriend? Amy was the best girl on the planet, in his opinion. Nothing would ever come between them.

But finally, after Evan accepted that Amy might possibly maybe be breaking up with him, he made a list in his mind of reasons why to state his hypothesis. (Evan was naturally neat and tidy, and that didn't except his own brain) Reason number one- Amy kept missing his calls. True, Evan called her about twp time a day, but Amy only answered about three every week, and she woul,d talk in a really hurried voice and end the call quickly. That led up to reason two- Amy was always distracted. She never had time for Evan. Her mind was always somewhere else, NOT on her boyfriend. Evan would like to think that it was because she was always on the run from evil guys who wanted to kill her, but he suspected something else.

Reason number three- Jake Rosenbloom.

What kind of a last name was ROSENBLOOM, anyway? Rose-in-bloom? Evan couln't help admitting that Jake was rather more good looking than himself, he wouldn't exactly call him a "rose in bloom". Evan's good-natured mind was used to pushing away evil thought hat Amy might be cheating on him, but that was before Jake. As hard as he tried, he could never erase the memory of Amy kissing Jake on the cheek during one of their teleconfrances.

Whenever Evan heard the name Jake, saw a rose, or even saw someone with dark hair like Jake's, he felt a white-hot surge of…..something flare up inside of him. Normally evan was peaceful, unless Jake was mentioned.

No, Evan knew it wasn't just SOMETHING.

He was jealous of Jake Rose-in-bloom.

Take the other night, for example. Sinead and Ian were both looking exhausted, so Evan volunteered to go get some pizza for all of them down at Rosie's Pizzeria. Not that Evan WASN'T tired, but he felt that it was his duty to keep up morale in the house, and one of those ways was through the healing powers of pizza. So, Evan went upstairs and called Rosie's Pizzeria's number, which had been taped to the side of the fridge.

"Hello?" the voice on the other line said. "Thanks for choosing Rosie's! My name's Jake and I'll take your order now!"

"Gah!" Evan slammed the phone back into the receiver. There it was again, that white hot surge of jealousy. It was stupid, he knew, but JAKE was ruining everthing!

Evan used to be adorkable-not-dorky. At least, to Amy he was.

Now it looked like he was nothing.

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QUIZ: Are you Jake, Ian, or Evan?

What do you find most important in a relationship?

Loyalty

The ability to make them happy

To give them what they WANT, if ya know what I mean… ;)

What kinds of people are you most jealous of?

The people that get early admission into Harvard and Yale

The people who are easy with other people and can express their feelings

Nobody…..everybody should be jealous of ME!

How do you best cope with jealousy?

To just go on with life as normal and hope everything straightens out

Too just ignore that person and focus on the people that really matter

To kick their butts—literally!

When do you feel you are the most vulnerable?

When I'm being overshadowed by someone smarter or better than me

When I just can't get the girl to GET what I'm saying

NEVER! I'm so self-centered, nothing can ever ruffle ME!

Thank you for taking the Jake, Ian, or Evan quiz! Now, look down and see which guy you are most like!

_If you chose mostly A, you are EVAN_

Evan is great- he's nice and loyal. But don't feel insignificant and don't hide from your feelings. YOU ARE A CAHILL. So act like one! Don't hide behind a rock and cross your fingers that things will sort themselves out. I mean, look what happened to Evan. He died by doing that. Do you want to die? I didn't think so. So go out there and MAKE it happen!

_If you chose mostly B, you are IAN_

Congrats if you chose Ian. Ian's awesome, and kind, but he has a lot of trouble expressing his feelings. Especially around people…like Amy! If you're an Ian, try interacting more with people who aren't in your closest circle of friends! It may make YOUR Amy see you more. Hello, Mr. Darcy, anyone? Don't be shy! Remember that you're a Cahill, so TALKING to people seems like a lame challenge compared to what Amy and Dan are out there doing. But, whatever. Go Ian!

_I_

_f you chose mostly C, you are JAKE_

Are you wondering why you don't have a lot of friends, or maybe people avoid you in the halls? That might be cuz you're a Jake! Nobody likes self-centered, bullying people, so if you chose Cs, take my advice and have a personality transplant. Either that or find someone that everybody likes and just act like them for a while. You'll get the hang of being a nice person….eventually. But I don't really think anyone would choose Cs, so I'm just writing this for a space filler. LALALALALAAAA! But if you ARE a Jake…sorry! You suck.

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Confrontation

Ian wondered why he even ever liked her.

There she was, with Jake, holding hands. Not even a hint of remorse for Evan in that shining face. That face that Ian once thought beautiful. Now, he wanted to barf.

Later that evening, Amy came face to face with Ian. "Hey, Ian, I'm glad you came to the funeral. I know you were a great friend to Evan."

Ian turned to face her. "What he NEEDED was his girlfriend."

Amy face paled. "You don't understand."

"Oh, I think I understand perfectly."

"What, then?"

"You dumped Evan for Jake."

"No!"

"Yes. I could see. And Evan could, too. Yet he kept fighting for you 'till the very end. What do you have to say to that?"

"You-you're wrong! I loved Evan!"

"Like a brother, maybe. But not like you love Jake."

"So I loved both of them. Why do you care?"

"Because I can't believe that I ever loved you."

"You…..you loved me?"

"Once."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well, you had Evan. Pride and jealousy kept me from telling you. Now, I'm glad I did. You would have cast me aside like all your little puppets."

"No, Ian! Just STOP! These are all lies!"

"So Jake is a lie?"

"Well, no-o."

"Everyone knows that you were kissing him while you were practically STANDING on Evan's grave! You're sick, Amy."

"You know what's sick, Ian? The fact that you're still jealous of Jake and I! I can see it now in your face."

"You mistake disgust for jealousy."

"Just shut up, Ian. I've had enough of you. I never want to see you again!"

"The feeling is mutual. "

Ian got up from his seat and walked away, leaving a sputtering Amy behind him.

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Interview with Jake:

ME: So, Jake, is there anyone in the Cahill clan that you're jealous of?

JAKE: Ha. That's a joke, right? Who do I have to be jealous of. I've already got Amy, and that's all I need.

ME: Are you SURE you're not jealous? Of ANYONE?

JAKE: Enough with the question marks! OK, fine. There is someone. But it's stupid, really.

ME: Oooh, who?

JAKE: *sigh* Forget I said anything.

ME: If you do not tell me who RIGHT this INSTANT, I will force-feed you to my neighbors dog, Cookie.

JAKE: *snorts* A dog named Cookie?

ME: She's a vicious bloody murderer!

JAKE: Fi-ine! Amy's been trying to find her old buddy Ian something-or-other for like the LONGEST time! It's an obsession! And I keep telling her to do something else, and she keeps telling me to lay off and that I don't understand! I mean, how crazy?!

ME: YES! I KNEW IT! AMIANWILL PREVAIL!

JAKE: What's the heck's Amian?

ME: Um….nothing. Bye!

Interview with Ian:

ME: So, Ian. How's it going?

IAN: Um, fine, I guess.

ME: Did you know that Amy's looking for you?

IAN: REALLY?! Uh, I mean, um, really. She shouldn't. I don't want her.

ME: Uh-_huh_. Sure. You can tell the truth with ME, Ian. Jeez, have some trust.

IAN: Well, I don't trust you. Remember that time you and Allison kidnaped me so that I could do your disclaimer? And you kept YELLING at me?

ME: Ah, good times. We dedicated a whole chapter of Cahill Resort to that disclaimer…

IAN: Not so good times. Anyway, you can now tell why I don't trust you.

ME: Ian! I was young then! I have changed my ways!

IAN: It was five months ago.

ME: Exactly! And now I'm fourteen, not thirteen! (beat that Allison, you're only THIRTEEN!) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me if you still like Amy or not?

IAN: Fine, if it will get you to stop begging me. *sigh* I still like Amy, OK?

ME: YES! I KNEW IT! AMIAN WILL PREVAIL!

IAN: Oh, no. NOT your stupid Amian again!

*thousands of Amian shippers gasp in horror*

ME: Gotta go! Bye!

Interview with Evan:

ME: So Evan, what's up?

EVAN'S GRAVE:…..

ME: Haha, I mean, what's down. Get it? Cuz, you grave is DOWN! *hahaha!* I crack myself up!

EVANS GRAVE:…

ME: Well, there's no need to be rude about it!

EVANS GRAVE: ….

ME: Whatever. So anyway, Evan, how does it feel to be dead? Give us some insight on the inside of your grave.

EVANS GRAVE:…

ME: Well, if you want to be like that, fine. I won't talk to you either!

(in background, guard is whispering into his walkie talkie. "Yes, she's TALKING to the grave. Do you think I should arrest her? No, she's not vandalizing it, just jabbing a microphone at it and yelling at it. OK, maybe I should call the police, this is getting creepy.")

ME: Oh, NO! I can't go back to jail again! Nice, talking with you, Evan. AMIAN WILL PREVAIL! Oh, sorry if that sounded insensitive, but it's like my catch phrase. Gotta run!

* * *

From the Cahill Headquarters:

Agent Zoe flourished her hand dramatically. "And THAT is how I almost went to jail….again."

Agent Allison and Agent Demi applauded loudly. Zoe took a bow. "Thank you, thank you very much."

Allison plopped onto a nearby sofa and pressed the caramel latte button on the panel next to her. In a few seconds, it was delivered through a tiny little elevator. Allison sipped it thoughtfully. "You know, Zoe, I'm very disappointed in you."

"Why? Because I jumped off the empire state building dressed as Hermione Granger with a jet attached to my back and threw wands at everyone below while the police tried to catch me?"

"No! Because you haven't made your entry for Paris Jane's contest yet!"

Demi nodded. "Yeah, Allie and I had ours done ages ago."

Zoe groaned. "I know, I know. I've just been so busy!"

"Doing what?"

"Enjoying summer!"

Demi shrugged. "OK, I can respect that. But still!"

"Yeah, you're right. I've just put all my stories on hiatus for like EVER! I need to write more chapters for stuff and I have all that babysitting and our cousins have been in town for like a MONTH!"

Allison shrugged, taking a sip of her latte. "Maybe you just need some inspiration."

Zoe eyed the latte."Mmm, maybe I should have one of those!"

"NO!" Demi and Allison yelled loudly. "Remember last time?!" Allison shuddered. "That was not pretty."

"I was scarred for the next few days," Demi agreed.

Zoe rolled her eyes. "Fine, so no caffeine. But I still need to come up with an interesting NEW idea! And I'm fresh out of ideas."

Suddenly, the door swung open. In came Agent Paris Jane and Agent Josh. "Hey guys!" Paris said. "What's up?"

"Yeah, we heard this is the party cabin," Josh added, throwing himself onto the sofa and propping his feet up onto the armrest.

"We were just talking about_" Demi was interrupted by Zoe's arm snaking out of nowhere and covering her mouth, so all that came out was a "mffmmphlll"

"We were just talking about...stuff. Nothing that you would know about. Like….that I saw Drew at computer training the other day, Allison. And I saw James at a swim meet. And I saw this really awesome pink shark cap with a floppy rubber fin sticking out of it, and so I asked the kid if I could borrow it and he said no and James was walking by and so I said, "Hey James and I go to school together. I bet HE"LL let me wear the cap!" just because I was SO desperate for that amazingly awesome cap and then James said no and I walked away all sad. He he."

Allison did a good job of looking like she had heard all this before. "Yeah, so um yeah."

Paris Jane raised her eyebrows. "You guys are terrible liars, you know that?"

Zoe pouted. "Well, at least i'm good in school at hiding who my crush is..."

"And you still haven't told me!" Allison complained.

Josh laughed from his place on the sofa. "You guys have very complicated lives. I thought that at private schools the people were all preppy and stuff?"

Zoe and Allison looked at each other and burst out laughing. "No way! We're some of the most hyper kids on Georgia...no joke."

"Like, take Margaret for example," Zoe said. "She didn't know what a moose is!"

"And watermelon on a fork!" yelled Allison. The girls started laughing again.

Demi and Paris Jane looked at each other like _we are the only sane ones in this room_.

Paris Jane turned to Zoe. "So, when are you going to turn in your entry for my Jealous Much contest?"

Zoe nodded. "Soon, PJ, soon."

"PJ? Who the heck is PJ?" Demi asked.

"It's Paris Jane, but shorter. It's her new nickname!"

PJ narrowed her eyes. "Don't ever call me PJ again."

Zoe shrugged. "Whatever you sat, PJ."

Allison shrugged sympathetically. "She does the same thing with me."

Demi smiled slyly. "What does she call you?"

Allison shook her head. "Like I would tell you!"

"It's Al Pal!" Zoe called from the other side of the room.

Demi and Paris collapsed on the floor laughing. Allison shot a glare at Zoe, who widened her eyes innocently. "Oops. I must have slipped out of my mouth."

Paris turned towards the sofa. "Josh, move. You're taking up the whole sofa!" she ordered.

"No can do, PJ," Josh answered, taking a huge slurp of the blue slushie that he had just ordered.

"Don't call me PJ!"

While everyone's attention was focused on "PJ" and Josh, they didn't notice Zoe at the other end of the room until Demi happened to look up.

"NO!" she cried. "Zoe got a latte!"

Everyone turned towards Zoe, who was calmly sipping Allison's latte. Everyone gasped.

"Zoe has caffeine! Run!" Josh yelled, and everyone bolted toward the door.

They kept running, but they weren't far away enough to hear the sounds of explosions coming from the room they had just left.

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**The end! I hope you liked it! :) The last part didn't have any jealousy, but whatevs. I just put it in there for fun... :)**

**Luv from,**

**iheartamianplusnatan**

**(Zoe)**


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